蘭清敏頤和園

Photoshoot!

Four of us (Brit, Andre, Khad, me) were told to meet at the lobby at 8.00am (08/01/2009) but still, one of us couldn't come on time. LOL. I was quite worried that we would be late cuz we'd been warned to be professional and not make the real professionals (stylists/make up artist/photographers) piss off. So we decided to take a cab and luckily we reached Suffian's place on time.

And, now I know even the real professionals aren't really that professional cuz they're were so damn late =.="

Then the make-up artist started working his magic. Well, the girls looked fine while the guys looked creepy, but still fine. Andre and I had this super-thick eyeliner make up to make us look sad. HAHA... believe me, when you got this make up done on your face, you'd be sad. But that was not the end as I still had to get my hair done. Err... I don't know how to explain but take a look at this.



LOL, I was complaining and thinking if they were trying to pull a prank on me. But Suffian said,

"Hey, stop it. You just got to trust them!"

So I realized how ungrateful and unprofessional I had been.

Then when we all reached Fort Canning Park, it was already behind schedule and Khad had only about an hour to do the photoshoot before she left for a MOE talk. Luckily, things went on quite smoothly there (.... right?) and I thought we're quite a talented bunch of models.

"Jaw out. Chin down. Crop your head to the left. Just A bit. Look at the camera. Smile. Smaller eyes. Smaller, smaller, smaller..."

"Got it!!!!! Good!!!"

That marked the end of my photoshoot session.

p/s: It was nevertheless a very fun experience and hopefully the photos would be fantastic. Special thanks to Andrea, our dear producer who'd been stressing her little ass to make this photoshoot possible.

So this was what happened today.

We settled our costume in the afternoon. Nothing much to say cuz I'm not that into fashion and the stylist, Vik, well honestly speaking he didn't impress me. FYI, I've seen Taiwan top stylist. LOL. (sound like a *britch) After the session with Vik, I crashed into Brit's singing lesson! Hmm, I seldom see this look of hers, she was actually shy and embarrassed by my presence (this time it's different=.=") and she didn't want to sing in front of me. Well, she had no right to chase me out of the room and so she started singing.

Erm... It sounded good la. That was quite a well-written song.

Then in the evening Suffian sms me to ask if I wanted to go Fitness First to gym gym and of course I said yes and we asked Andre to go along. WOW. It was amazing working out in a well-equipped gym. Haven't gone to such place since 8 months ago and that means, I've not been working out for 8 bloody months. Oh gosh, I really think Suffian and Andre could become personal trainers cuz the exercises they made me do were so tiring. Although I did very badly, they would say (in a trainer's tone) "Good! Well done!" ... After that I headed to the sky pool and swam a few laps and oh, it was so relaxing and I enjoyed it so much.

Thanks Suffian.

And now comes the real stuff. I broke down during rehearsals. I gotta admit I had a few tears brimming in my eyes, LOL, but I wasn't really crying.
Shocking?

The rehearsal started after Suffian, Andre and I got back from Holland Village. Suffian did this visualization exercise with us. He asked us to close our eyes and imagine our own characters... visualize. It was funny at the beginning but slowly I saw something. HAHAHA. Actually I felt something la. Cuz there's this scene where I gotta be apologetic and the word "sorry" just kept on appearing in my mind when I closed my eyes. Then after this I started to feel unhappy. N' my fucking ears were turning red. Maybe that's the moment when I really got into the character. As we started acting, everything went ok until Act One Scene 3 which was the scene I'd been visualizing. Hmm, my way of acting was bad and boring and I could feel that too. We repeated the scene a few times and I got really frustrated. Not by anyone but by myself. I thought I was wasting others' time and all sorts of negative stuff just struck my mind. I hated Romeo and I just didn't want to say his loser lines and I just looked blank (as described by Suffian) while acting. Then Suffian asked me to act that scene in an angry way. Oh, I guess I did it quite well cuz Juliet (Khad) said I (Zhi Yi not Romeo) was really fierce.

And then the directors went on to explain to me about bringing real emotions from past experiences into my acting and stuff. While listening, I was trying to control myself and pay attention to them but I could feel something in me. I thought I was gonna, fuck I don't want to use that word cry... Oh, I thought I was gonna lose control. The room was so damn quiet and I really hoped Britney would make some jokes or bitchy comments to break the ice but unfortunately she didn't and I just sat there helplessly. Then one of the directors (Sam, assistant director) suddenly said to me "You're making progress you know" and that just totally killed me. So I asked if they could stop and Suffian gave us a 2 min break.

Then I went out of the room to take some real deep breath. LOL. I finally got myself calm after a while. Then I started to think what had happened back in the room, the acting, the feeling, the comments and all. Hmm, I thought I was too deep into the character but I wasn't showing it right cuz all I'd been doing were: sorry, blank, bored, sorry.

I'd missed out one very important part of it, love.

I love Juliet.
But I wasn't showing it at all.

So I went to toilet and washed my eyes a bit so that the others wouldn't see that they were red. N' when I opened the door before I stepped into the rehearsal room, I faked a smile, LOL, just to show that I was totally ok then.

And then I did that scene again with Khad and finally, I did something slightly different and well, slightly better. And Suffian ended the night with a not-so-convincing-super-satisfied look on his face. Err, I was pretty sure he was just being very kind and trying to encourage us thou we (I actually mean "I" here) weren't really up to standard yet but again, just like I said before, he could really be some personal gym trainer. (One who encourages his/her customer when the customer couldn't even raise the legs properly) HAHAHA.

Then andre said

"Zhi Yi's reached an epiphany"

Well, thank you but I think I've got so much more to learn so let's hope I'll keep on getting more sudden realization of the essence or meaning of acting.

LOL. Gosh, this is a fucking long blog entry!

請放聲大哭.
要是我的靈魂還未升天我會盯住你傷心的樣子,雖然難免感傷不過我會感到驕傲.
所以千萬不要給什麽"This is life"的鳥爛理由，要是沒看見你流淚我會詛咒你便秘一個星期。

但是...別哭超過一桶
因爲你眼睛會傷,雖然我死了但我仍然會覺得愧疚.

哦,這不是封遺書,絕對不是.
只是一份我死後為你留下最後的禮物.
我不想有一天我突然不回來了卻什麽都沒留下,所以親愛的

我真的好愛你.

而你要好好照顧自己.
我的電影提早落幕了,但是你的還沒呢,要好好演下去.

你可以慢慢將我忘記,可是每年8月19日要想起我,一下就好.
如果真的忘記了,哈哈,也不要緊,因爲我相信總有一天我們會在天國相聚,到時候我們在一起喝下午茶.





嘿,我是說真的.
如果有一天我就這麽死去,
記得:我真的好愛你.

Bad.

I just had my 1st rehearsal after the not-really-long-2-weeks break and it ended up... bad.
I couldn't remember my lines and my acting took a big leap, backwards, thou I actually did have some little practice while I was back home. And! I felt disconnected throughout the whole play. I don't know why but maybe it's because I was concentrating too much in remembering my lines. N' I gotta apologize to my beloved Juliet~ Cuz I don't love her anymore! LOL. The (very little) chemistry between us just evaporated and now I realize that I had not been thinking of her since I got back to KL. I was just too busy eating and shopping with my mama (~_~)"

Hmm.. There's really nothing worth-mentioned...

...

Oh, except that the kissing scene looks more real cuz Juliet is finally turning her head.

So in conclusion, now I know why Leonardo DiCaprio is so busy. He can't afford to take a long break cuz tat's gonna affect his acting.

(LOL. What a bad conclusion! ...... To be continued thou)

I just can't wait for 2008 to fuck off.
This year (2008) has really been... devastating. Yes. The TAN family's been filled with sorrow and melancholy since 22Jan.
Hope it'll end and vanish with this year's calander.

so...
Go to hell 2008! And all of you, illness, middle-aged crisis, thives, con-men, murderers, break-ups, defeat!
Leave my family alone and please don't come back. I'll sing Mariah's #1 hit "Bye-Bye" to you all. Now go!

Just can't believe it. How could all of these happen in one year?! I've lost so much! (though never my weight nor virginity) Argh. But please don't take me as a whining bitch. Cuz. I'm really (emotionally not sexually) desperate!

Oh God, I need to listen to "We Wish You A Merry Christmas And  Happy New Year".

2009 please come faster like a bad porn star!!!! Hahaha. I mean it. Can't wait to countdown to it. Hmm... I guess I'll not post any blog entry on 31 Dec so I shall do an early countdown now.

 

3........

2........

1........

HAPPY NEW YEAR